Dating in your 30s: High expectations or last-minute panic?

Single and 30?

For many people, this age marks the start of a real gauntlet of social pressures and friend wedding invitations. While most of your friends are happy couples with their first children on the way, many singles find themselves in an uncomfortable situation.

"When will it be time for you to commit?"

"Don't you want to get there and start thinking about having a family?"

These are common phrases that singles over the age of 30 hear on a regular basis. But if you look at the statistics, it's not that unusual to be single at 30.

But what's different about dating in your 30s and why is it not as easy as it was in your mid-20s? Is it because the demands have changed, or is the singles market just not good enough? We wanted to get to the bottom of this phenomenon and took a closer look at the question of dating over 30. To get to the bottom of it, we looked at the following points:

Are you over 30, single, and wondering what's wrong with the dating world?

Maybe part of the reason is you, and perhaps you have unconsciously changed? Time to take a closer look.

Here's How Expectations Change After 30

Is it true that the demands of the dating game change after 30 - and if so, in what direction, and how does it ultimately affect your ability to meet other singles?

In fact, many people in their thirties experience a shift in their values and expectations. Whereas in our mid-twenties we wanted to let our hair down and make the most of every experience, things are slowly settling down. By this age, we have generally settled, and have built something for ourselves, or are in the process of doing so. And that's exactly what affects our dating behavior. Whereas we used to swipe left on dating apps and find any single worth our while, we're now only interested in one in ten profiles.

The reason: We are becoming more uncompromising and less willing to adapt to others. So, we look for someone who can be integrated into our lives without much effort. Instead of looking for a bombshell body, we look at singles' occupations and question their intentions. While in previous years our libido played a major role, we are listening more to the rational voice in our heads. We no longer want to live exclusively in the moment, but always have a peripheral view of the future. Instead of playing games, we are looking for a partner in crime, someone who will fit into our lifestyle without too much effort.

Others see singles at 30 as almost a lost cause. But is it really harder to find the right partner at this age?

Still single at 30 - cause for last-minute panic?

Many single people over the age of 30 feel a tremendous amount of pressure. Your friends are all couples, and you feel like an intruder at birthdays and other celebrations. A slight panic begins to set in and the question arises as to whether things will ever change.

Women in particular are looked at critically if they are single at 30. Questions about your desire to have children, the meddling of friends who want to set you up, and in general, everyone else seems to be taken. No wonder many are afraid to remain single at this point.

But is this fear justified?

No, because anyone who is single at 30 is definitely not an isolated case. As statistics show, many people are single between the ages of 30 and 39. Reasons for this may vary. Perhaps your career was your first priority and you needed to lay the foundation for a stable life. Or maybe the last relationship was only a few months ago and the focus is now on your personal needs and desires.

Whatever your reasons for being single at 30, there is no need to panic. There are 365 days in a year, and each one is a new opportunity to meet the man of your dreams.

So, putting yourself under pressure and looking for someone at the devil's own game is a fatal mistake. It is far more important to look at yourself and realize that a relationship is not a guarantee for a happy future. Others make the mistake of rushing into a relationship to avoid being alone. It is much more pleasant not to put yourself under pressure and to take a relaxed approach.

But what changes after the age of 30 and where does the focus lie after that? Do men and women have different views on this, or is it a fundamental story that happens regardless of gender? Let's take a look at the ladies of creation first...

How do women change after 30

Just a fresh 29, hotly sought after, and suddenly 30, where the side is already grinning to make room. But what changes do women really go through when they turn 30, and could this be the answer to why it seems to get harder to find the right partner at 30?

The metabolism changes

It is said that metabolism changes are a thing of the forties. But for many, the change begins in the thirties, making it impossible to eat a pizza without it leaving a trace. Although exercise was not a necessity before, it now seems to be the only way to stay physically fit.

Estrogen wears off

Estrogen is the body's female hormone that affects libido and fertility. The desire for sex diminishes and the desire for children slowly takes over. But without a suitable partner, this desire seems more wishful thinking than tangible. To put it bluntly, the inner clock ticks much faster.

Values and ideas change

For many people, the age of 30 also seems to be associated with a change in thinking. Priorities shift and people pay attention to different things. Instead of paying attention to whether a man keeps his body in shape, it is more a question of how he approaches things in life. Does the potential partner have the same level of understanding? Deep conversations suddenly seem more important than wild sex, and the focus should always be on the future.

And among friends, everyone is throwing baby parties and sending out wedding invitations.

This is probably the point that causes the most last-minute panic. The immediate environment and circle of friends is almost exclusively made up of couples. Plans for the future, such as buying a house and having children, are common topics of conversation. And while everyone seems so mature in their relationships, you feel unloved, immature, and like something is missing from your perfect happiness.

Okay, but what about the flip side?

How do men change after 30?

But women aren't the only ones to experience aging. After the age of 30, men also undergo a number of changes that affect both their bodies and their minds.

Here, too, a metabolic change takes place

Pants become tighter and muscles begin to weaken unless they are regularly exercised. Men who move from the office chair to the couch can expect not only a change in age, but also a change in clothing size.

Shifting priorities

Yesterday a poacher of game, today in the midst of life and surrounded by fathers who talk proudly of their offspring. Whether among friends or at work, many men at 30 find themselves in an environment where others are already umpteen steps ahead. They have to host engagement parties and weddings, and can no longer go skiing every weekend. As a result, men over 30 often question their lifestyle and engage in self-reflection. Maybe a relationship is worth it after all....

Testosterone levels drop

The male hormone testosterone begins to decline after the age of 30, causing some men to lose their virility. Those who do not regularly take care of their health and spend time exercising could quickly notice a change in their masculinity.

Does dating get harder after 30?

Let's go back to the original question. Is it really harder to play the dating game after 30 and emerge a winner? Many feel comfortable with the "30 and single" label and others want to get rid of it as soon as possible.

But what makes dating over 30 so difficult?

Old habits
Dating forgotten
Higher expectations
Less willingness to compromise

All of these things can contribute to making dating over 30 a real challenge.

Old habits

At 30, we have a history and are no longer blank slates. Some bring a child from a previous relationship and are therefore still in contact with the ex-partner. Past problems may simply be habits that are uncomfortable for the other person or things that we do not like in a potential dating partner.

Dating Forgotten

How did it go with dating again? Flirting is a skill that needs to be learned, and those coming out of a long-term relationship at the age of 30 often feel like they've been thrown in at the deep end. This is where online dating is a perfect way to slowly get back into flirting.

Higher expectations

At the age of 30, people start to look to the future and their expectations of a partner start to rise. Whereas in the mid-20s, life was easy, today it would be chaos. The ideal partner should have both feet on the ground, have a certain look, not have children and share the same interests. You might as well turn on the oven and bake your soul mate.

Less willingness to compromise

High standards and an unwillingness to compromise. A combination that doesn't necessarily make finding the right partner any easier. Those who are single at 30 are rarely still in the process of development and stumble aimlessly through life. Should you change your lifestyle in order to integrate someone? Wrong: The person should rather adapt to life!

Conclusion: Is dating over 30 really an uphill battle?

Okay, after the age of 30, physical changes begin to occur in both men and women. But are they the reason why dating over 30 becomes increasingly difficult? Or isn't it ultimately our own ideas that get in the way? Too little compromise and too high standards drastically limit the choice of potential partners. Love is a give and take and, in the end, it is always a work in progress. Without the willingness to commit to someone and take a step toward them, the status of "30 and single" will not change anytime soon.